Be Willing to be Willing

“Our stories don’t mean anything when we don’t have anyone to tell them to.”

In one week (on May 13th ), my friends and family . . . those whom I have been bugging for weeks will hopefully . . . by the grace of God . . . buy their very own copy of Things My Mama Told Me.

I want my aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, children, in-laws, nieces, nephews, education friends, writer friends, neighbor friends, social media friends, recovery friends, past friends, present friends, future friends, and most importantly teenager friends, to buy this book. I really do.

But at the same time, I feel protective of the stories my teen friends shared. They told their secrets. They told their fears. They were vulnerable and brave. Sometimes they were scared, and yet they were willing to tell their stories so they could help another teen.

I feel protective of my own teen self. Some of my secrets have never been told to anyone. Some secrets awakened only after I began to write about a topic I knew was important . For example, when I researched “boundaries,” I realized my teen self had no boundaries. She had let herself be manipulated, disrespected, and controlled with no thought for her own safety and self-care. In the midst of that realization—over 40 years later—I cried multiple times. I didn’t realize the impact those secrets had on my physical and spiritual being.

I feel protective of my adult self. I already know, because of the nature of the review process, that there will be comments that will hurt me. Already, two reviewers have questioned the same chapter . . . one that I am most proud of. They don’t think my students were as open-minded about LGBTQ issues as they should have been. They wished I would have only chosen journal excerpts that were positive. I can’t change how my students felt, and I believe I showed an honest cross-section of opinions. The point I tried to share in that chapter is that no student, no matter their religious or cultural backgrounds, thought that it was okay to judge or bully anyone based on gender or sexual preferences. That, to me, was the miracle. My past student who shared her lesbian-to-transgender story was brave in revealing her long, painful journey. The rest is up to time and education and lots of love.

In the end, the teens had to be willing to be willing to share their stories. In the end, I had to be willing to be willing to share the stories and the secrets that were difficult to share. In the end, we have no control over how someone else will judge our story. We have to be willing to be willing to tell the story anyway.

I can’t wait to chat with you more on these topics and others when we get together on Sunday, May 16th. Email me at nancypantsjohnson@gmail.com if you want to join by Zoom and I’ll send you the Zoom ID. Join the Facebook LIVE event at https://www.Facebook.com/100002420823337/posts/3888041081286548/