On Valentine’s Day, I Pledge to Love Me

Love is not something we give or get; 

it is something that we nurture and grow,

a connection that can be cultivated

between two people only when it exists within each of them --

we can love others only as much as we love ourselves.

Brene Brown

 

It’s the month of love. While I think Valentine’s Day can be over-commercialized and filled with expectations that are not about love at all, I think love has the potential to change everything that is wrong in the world.

The only love that we have any control over is the love that comes from within. We can send it out to others, but first things first, we have to nurture it in our own bodies and hearts.

It’s difficult to send our love out to others if we’re hurting or sad or anxious inside. If you are reading this while you are still a teen, you have the opportunity to heal those stressors and dark places within and bring them into the light now so you can find joy and power now in your teenage years. If you are reading this as an adult, I encourage you to seek out your teen self and help them to integrate with who you are today.

So how do we love ourselves more? That’s the tricky bit. If you’re like me, you’ve read a few self-help books. Maybe, like me, you’ve met with recovery groups, or therapists or support groups on just about any topic from weight to grief. That’s good.

In addition to the more money- and time-intensive options, there are a few Valentine’s presents we can give ourselves that we can completely control . . . and they don’t require a white horse.

Start by thinking of yourself as a circle made up of Body, Mind, and Spirit. Love your Body by relaxing, sleeping, unplugging, exercising, eating healthy, or asking for affection. Love your Mind by journaling, crying and laughing, saying positive affirmations, or cuddling with a pet or favorite blanket. Love your Spirit by meditating, practicing yoga, going into nature, singing, dancing, and playing, or volunteering for a cause that means something to you.

Taking care of yourself is the first, most important thing you can do for yourself. Be your own best friend. Be your own fun date. I pledge to love me. I’m going to start today. First, I’m going to take a warm shower, put on my favorite t-shirt and jeans, and take a lovely afternoon walk. When I get back, I’m going to eat my pasta and salad by candlelight. I’m worth it. What is one thing you will do for you today?